Saturday, December 6, 2008

REVIEW: Bat Man 2: Dark Knight Legasy REVEALED!

OH no here's another whopper. Sarge @ Large review

Well that's what I thought going into this movie but now I know the difference. I watched this movie in my Presidental Dungeon last night, and let me tell you: It's got some violence but not too much. Mostly, after you see Bat Man do a dumb kill on a grossly outnumbered foe "The Jokers", then the Joker lead guy starts "waxing poetic" about how batman wouldnt survive for 2 seconds where he comes from (WHAT? LIKE THE MENTAL INSTITUTION?)

Anyway, several kills later Bat Man finds himself as usual at the gates of a mighty castle where an even more unholy champion resides inside. This is the best scene in the movie because you hear that guy "two face" do a cackle and it echoes through the mountainside like a biblical song about Satan. Anyway then batman throws a bat-disk at the castle and it flies in the window and goes in the computer where Two Face is sitting (His name is HARVEY DENT) and it shuts his computer off in a flash! Two face goes "Aw man I was *READING* that" and its so funny because the crowd started laughing in the theatre. But then TWO FACE tries to turn his computer back on by pushing the ON button, and it doesnt work anymore guess why? Because BATMAN put a VIRUS on the disk, now Harvey looks like you gonna have to buy a MAC next time! But then harvey DEnt AKA TWO FACE goes to the apple store and the guy who works there happens to punch him in the face and then he is sent to jail. Kind of makes you wonder hey, this isnt a movie about some guy who worked at an Apple store is it? But then you see the little apple logo on batman's car's crotch and you're like "Oh" becuase you realieazed it IS about an apple store. Anyway the whole movie was a DAMN waste of time, there is ZERO action (besides several punches and quite a few doodads throughout are LOADED with EXPLODIVES!!!!) . There are no stars in it, the main guy I heard died from an anyuerism right after making the movie becuase, and he will always be remembered by his noble quote which i now am reading from his stout tombstone: "HELPI DIED!".

The final scene Jessica Rabit gets unclothed slowly, suductiely, and Bat Man is like "This is great, keep doing that and soon I will have a Bat-PROBLEM in my PANTS" but then it is soon revealed he was just kidding in this part and the film abruptly ends with the sound effect of a screen door closing. scary stuff.

Overall, I give it a 10/10 and i would reommend you see it becuase it starts MORGAN FREEMAN and there is rampage rape boats. whoops that's not in the movie whoops

No comments: