Sarge read a story from Scary Stories to tell in the Dark, a children's book about scary stories, and he thought "I can do better than THIS!" Here is his first scary story (halloween!!!! boo).
Sergeant Facepuncher MD was a kindly young man who lived in a huge mansion with his hot girlfriend. His girlfriend was so hot all of the people that saw her said she was hot.
One day, Sarge got up from bed and walked over to his girlfriend who was in the kitchen. She turned around and blood was coming out of her mouth!!! Sarge was like "Good thing I'm a doctor, except this seems too serious, MY WIFE IS DEAD!!!" And sarge was very concerned. However, then his girlfriend started laughing and was like "Hahaha, just kidding you handsome mule, it's only KETCHUP, I was playing a joke on you." Sarge was like "NOO!! That is the Poison ketchup I was saving for my WORST ENEMY!!!" Then the girlfriend started to choke and wheeze and crashed through a window. Sarge looked out and her lifeless corpse was falling down towards the highway, and it got hit by a suburban.
Scarrryyy scaryyyy right kids? Don't show your kids this, it's too scary for them. And keep POSION KETCHUP OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! - Sarge