Friday, June 24, 2011
Duke nukem forever REVIEW
If you got all your wits about you you know that Sarge has been waiting for the next Duke Nukem II game for his MSBOX3D0. Well it finally came out. I went to the store and I found a guy who sells games. I was like "bucko, gimme the duke or I start to puke". He said he sold out of them I was like ARE YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. I said "wahts that in your pants then" and he said "sir" and I said "I CAN SEE INSIDE YOUR PANTS THERE ARE EXTRA GAMES & SOME COINS AS WELL!!!". its true I have an x-ray cyborg's implant.
He called a "manager" over (I was like MANAGE THIS and stabbed my thumb up my pelvis regroin) named Eric. I was like "This employee somehow survived denying SARGE his DUE." I was also like "I want a Duke Nukem II please". He said he ran out so I performed a Quint of Bleeding Luck maneouver on his skull which I calculated had several bum chunks. His skull exploded all over the place into a messy cloud of brain bits and I kicked him in the butt and said 'now get out of here, you!'
Then the employye changed his tune. I said "TAKE OFF ALL YOUR PANTS", still holding my vibrating leg that just killed a man with its bear hands. He said "but sir i have a copy of duke nukam in there that you'll find out about!!!" Don't SIR me you farcial barnyard betty, I exclaimed as I got him in a classic Crunch-hold. I said "If YOU'RE OUT OF NUKEMS THEN IM LEAVING!" and I left. But when I got out the door I went "Damn !!!!!" really loud and someone from another place heard me probably. A pink baby stuck his head up out of a stroller and went "by Joe, that is one sad muscle man!!!!" (thats a joke)
So then when i got home I realized I already bought duke nukem 2!!! I popped the CD into the drive and was on my way. then I realized my computer was off, and it would NOT TURN ON!!! - CPU NERDS from high schools now I wish I Kept you alive :o). Then I saw the problem, I had dropped one of my large vascular Champion stones on the computer earlier after my morning workout. OH man looks like I shoulda got a DELL!!!
So thats my Duke Nukem 2 refever review. its pretty good I think, nice graphics, and, fun stuff. its pretty fun. i like the graphics.
-SARGENT FACEPUNCHER M.D.
PS - I have been away fighting several wars of aggression. i am now a vetaran of like 200 wars its awesome