Thursday, July 21, 2011

Someone STOLE my Pigwatchers bar!!!

Hey I was at Arnold Ryan(hes famous)'s party the other day. I brought a Pigwatcher's bar with me, not because I want to lose weight but because Sarge needs to PACK ON THE POUNDS. This is because I have a theory that if I get fat enough I will be able to block bullets with my fat, sort of like this: kapwiiinggg!!!

Anywho, I put the bar down next to me on a stool and said "don't go anywhere pigwatchers bar, I am going to eat your skull next moment", and watched the Area News for a bit to see if any of my terrorists plots had become hatched. When I looked back down, the Pigwatchers bar was gone!

WHO STOLE MY PIGWATERS BARRRR!!!!!

I know what you're thinking "I didnt do it sarge. it must of been a alien." It better not have been cuz if it was I'm GETTING MY DROWN ON that little green PUKE!

"crunch crunch im eatin sarges pigwatchers barrr mmm"

Please if it was you or a alien please shine a flashlight into the trees and stuff. From now on this is the sarge signal and if you need to reach me you can do that and yell "hey sarge where the hell are you buddy" and i'll come running.

PS. one of my terrorists plots is me throwing a heavy book onto the ice at the Nashville Predators game and see if some dumb dick thinks he can skate over that heavy book. He will probably be like "whoaWHoaWHOAAAA" and fall flat on his ugly FACE. At that time I will shoot him with my sniper rifle because he is no longer needed.

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