Friday, July 22, 2011

Team Fortress 2 Special PREVIEW

PSST IT'S ME IT'S SARGE! Drop your weapons! If you didn't drop your weapons, just now you would feel a grievous impact from an unknown angle; and its name is an Unjust Elbow from Sarge.

Speaking of which, Team Fortress-II is already out as you may know. This article will dispel rumors and mythos about what type of stuff gonna be"in da game" so to speak. This will be posed as a specialty "FAQ".

CLASSES

Enginaer: these rabid psychos can build Supply Depots and Hampster Wagons which shoot bullets at enemy oncomers. IF you hear someone say "we need a hampster wagon PRONTO", then that means you should do it now.

SPY: "#007 AGENT; WE HAVE A DISTURBANCE. SOMEONE IS WAY better than ur shitt ass movies biatch" james bond is like 'oh crap my frail egotistical mind just got flushed down the crappers'. Too bad. This spy has a REAL gun made of metal. when it shoots it goes BOOM BOOM BOOM and everyone who got hit is in big trouble. Double your spy !!!!!

Soldier: Double tha action fire-power and Traction with this Soldier of Fortune! He gets 25 cents every time he performs a rocket launcher kill, and with muscles THIS big that's gonna add up to real, hot CASH!!!! Use that cash to buy a better class though like the Spy or the Jeep Wizard.

Jeep Wizard: Jeep wizard is one of the new classes. it has some health but you can trade out for an extra jeep. Combine 3 jeep together to form Super Jeep 3D0 powers. If you get too sweaty in there take off your pants or whatever I don't care. Just keep Jeepin' ! Beep Beep I'm in da Jeep (batteries not included hahahahahaa:) :)

Demomanager: Bombs Bombs Bombs Bombs and Double your Specialty Bombs!! Seriously, bombs don't come out of guns this fast since Sarge last visited a secret war locale! But if you use him be wary of one thing: he does not have a knife on his person. That means if someone comes up close and "personal" you might have to blow up the entire level with one wave of your magical fingers.

Heavy Weapon Man: Hes so fat he blocks bullets for the rest of the team. he also is bald, its cool.

Fish Monitor: He will monitor the fish while you were playing. Just give him special instructions if you have a rare breed of fish like a helmsman mudrunner or a crybaby wish. if he gets out of line you know what to do.........................

Swordsman: CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP chop chop .......

Scout: this guy... i cant believe they had the GALLUoX to put this graceless spitter into my game. He talks like hes from Hades itself but he dances around like a pixie pie-taster!!! NOT to my LIKING.

Well at this point you may be asking, but sarge, what about the FAQs? Ok.

FAQ1: Sarge when You are playing TFII don't you do the best?

Answer: Ya

FAG2: Sarge whats the best startegty for becoming the best?

Answer: run from me and wish to God that your spine will be left intact so that the doctor may save it with a vampire's kiss.

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