Friday, September 23, 2011

sarge's favorite history lessons from USA

Time for a history lesson with Sarge!  In 1940, I invented the "foot cudgel" which is a cudgel that you can hold with your foot, as long as you got feet that can curle around like a MONKEY(monkeys are STUPID!).

In 1995, I invented Magical Sand.

Magical Sand was a band named Magical Sand.  Sarge wasn't in the band but he was the lead singer and producer.  He also wrote all the songs including the 1995 hit song, "magical sand band song".  Heres the full track listing of each song on the album:

TRACK 1 - Magical Sand Band Song - This is the hit song so obviously it comes first.  The rest is crap!
TRACK 2 - Foreshorten the Love - this is a sad love song about breaking up with your girlfriend.
TRACK 3 - SHAKIN' - This is a low down dirrrrty groove for the lemonstand!  Bump bump bump, Conceal your rump!
TRACK 4 - Mutated babys - this song is SCARY about mutato babies that come out of the graAaaave!!!
TRACK 5 - My Fist Foreshortens your Ass! - This is an angry punchout song for bars and other places of battle.
TRACK 6 - Spicy Petunia - pour a salt shaker over my head, this song makes you feel like you're really IN THE GAME!
TRACK 7 - Secret Song - this song has a secret bit of information in it, (my poundcode)!!!
TRACK 8 - REAL secret song - this is the song no one knows about, it has my REAL poundcode in it.
TRACK 9 - Boy's Got a Code - about a young boy Alberto Benningsmouth, who learned a code (AINT my pound code tho thats for sure!)
TRACK 9 - "Butts" - Sarge didn't write this one I have no idea how it got "on da album."
TRACK 9 - I forget what this track was but I think there was a electric drum sound.

SO NEXT TIME some WIPE comes up to you and says 'hey kid you look like you need a nickel', you grab both his knees and say "Kindley SIR, I'm sorry but THIS ONE'S ON SARGE" Then bite a hole in his leg.   Then call the police and turn yourself in - it's high time you did some time.

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